You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
