this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
