I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
