used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
