He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
