Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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