did you get engaged???
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
worst night to have a conscience
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
