i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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