Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
try to milk me bitch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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