Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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