Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
