walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
