no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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