it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
