i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
