i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
