just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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