She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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