Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize