I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
