I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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