just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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