I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
