So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
