I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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