I feel great
I just peed on a car
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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