wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
