OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize