I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
