Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
