So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
