She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh god the rape fog is back!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
