champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
