We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
