Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
