So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
