when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize