What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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