Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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