Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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