I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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