Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
