you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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