My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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