haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my fart just growled at me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize