At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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