we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
