did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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