omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize