After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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