Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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