i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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