So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
