Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
