Quick, to the slutcave!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
