Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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