As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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