i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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