so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
