I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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