Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm passing your future prison.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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