Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Alive.
So much puke
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
