Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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