So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
