You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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