OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We need a shit load of segways right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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