your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
